Nobody likes to get a Dum-Dum on Halloween.
No matter how you spin it, Dum-Dum’s scream “cheapskate,” usually bought under duress so that folks can have something to offer when the neighborhood kids come trick-or-treating.
I suppose it’s better than turning off the lights and pretending you’re not home.
Same goes for Tootsie Rolls, Bit-O-Honeys and peppermints. A slight step up from these things are Hershey Kisses (great brand, but too small).
I’m OK with a handful of Atomic Fireballs or a couple of Charms Blow-Pops. Seems like more effort and thought went into those – but I might just be kidding myself because I like them.
And please don’t insult me by handing out just one of anything – unless my costume is shitty or I am way too old to be canvassing the subdivision.
And if I am just wearing some sort of hastily-donned cheap mask, like the plastic ones folks of a certain age had to endure, with slits cut out in the eye area and a flimsy elastic band we hoped wouldn’t come off as our faces poured sweat…
…just tell me to go pound sand.
If Halloween were a meritocracy, I’m sure the uprising would be swift and sure – and we’d see the former part of the trick-or-treat equation come into sharp focus.
Roger Yale 