Around Christmastime, one of my dear friend’s recurring mantras is this:
“Give from the heart. Not from the mart.”
I like it, and it makes sense.
But anybody with children will attest to the fact that this sentiment only goes so far. I mean if Santa left only baked goods or a handmade craft, a palpable sense of betrayal would fairly howl through most households in this country.
I wouldn’t be any good at handcrafting a PlayStation or a Big Wheel. Hell, I had trouble assembling the Big Wheels and other contraptions Santa left for my twins, and invariably there were parts left over…
I remember grappling with a Foosball table one Christmas Eve as I downed beer after beer, in no way fooled by the fantasy that one more drink would make the process any easier. That table was very nearly my undoing, and it was as wobbly as I was.
But I soldiered on, listening to Pope John Paul II on the television as he concluded yet another Midnight Mass.
For better or for worse, I had the damned thing put together. With an air of drunken self-satisfaction, I took a bite out of Santa’s cookie, finished off his milk and went to bed.
I am so glad I am sober now, by the way. Have been for years.
Because my twins have December birthdays and I am not Rockefeller, I would always find myself “jammed up” about how to pull off the two events…
…but credit cards, a bit of squirreled cash and the kindness of loved ones made it possible for my son and daughter to enjoy their holidays; if not in high style, then by all means in a manner that prevented them from feeling pinched.
Despite my promises to myself to be better prepared “next year,” that has yet to happen. But birthdays and Christmases came and went, and everything seemed to work out. Every. Single. Year.
But what if your kids are adults?
My twins just turned 27, and I am lucky that they are both nearby. My son and daughter-in-law live in Myrtle Beach, and my daughter is down from New York, staying with them as she works from home for a time – a decidedly positive byproduct of the COVID-19 nightmare. I’m thrilled she is able to do that.
They are still getting presents, though, but the endgame moving forward is to keep it simple and avoid credit card spending.
I need to keep in mind that as far as gifts are concerned, 27 is not 17 is not 7 – and yet I keep hearkening back to those times, like, will my gifts be enough…
But then I snap back to reality with the profound realization that, yes, they will be enough because I am enough. This is where the heart comes in, where spending time together comes in, where love comes in.
That kind of acceptance just became the biggest gift I could possibly give myself.
I have written before about the fear of my intentions being misunderstood, and some of my friends responded that they felt the same way about theirs. It’s a thing, and there must be a basic human need to be understood. We have societal structures in place: language, manners and nonverbal cues. These things can help us avoid being misunderstood.
But it happens to me quite often.
Just when I think I have gotten over one misstep, another one comes along to start me back down the rabbit hole of uncertainty, overthinking and loss of sleep.
I believe in being positive, but I also aim to be truthful about this. I don’t want to sweep this under the carpet or grit my teeth and try to will it away.
Related to this phenomenon are what I call Larry David moments. These are not so much about being misunderstood, but rather the awkward moments, mistakes and misfires in my daily life that make me want to crawl under a rock.
These are not game-changing life events, either.
I know from experience that many of these moments are mountains-out-of-molehill situations, but for me the discomfort is very real. And because I am sober, I need to find ways to deal with them. Maybe writing about them will help.
Here are a couple examples of what I am talking about from the past week or so – but there were more than just these two.
THE WRONG WRIGHT
My last blog post, “Is 56 the New 12?” featured an excellent rendering of Harry Potter’s Professor Snape with my face edited into it by my friend and fellow writer Brendan Wright. I credited another friend, Bill Wright, with the photo. It was only after Brendan saw it and reminded me that he had created it did I remember where and when he first showed it to me a couple of years back.
The memory is a funny thing, and to say I was chagrined is an understatement.
In my mind, coming back from something like that is tough. For other people, an apology would suffice. For me, the need to overexplain reigns supreme. Of course, I apologized and made a quick change to the post, but that’s not the point. For me, the damage had already been done.
I lost face. The only logical end to this would have been for Brendan to cut off my head after I gutted myself. Seppuku.
Why didn’t I remember…
SOMEBODY STOP ME: THE MASK INCIDENT
I was taking a break at work the other day, sitting in the closed cigar lounge at Tinder Box Myrtle Beach with my girlfriend, Brenda. A mask was dangling by a loop my right ear.
“So what,” you might say…
Here’s what sent me into a tizzy:
Our friend, Meghan, came to see us. She was outside lounge door, which was locked. Brenda let her in while I remained seated.
Meghan made some awesome masks for us to help us through this time of social distancing, and we’re grateful for them – but when she came in that day, the mask that was dangling from my ear was not hers. Rather, it was made by another friend, Karan, who was kind enough to send us a few great masks as well.
Based on my anxiety level, you would have thought I got busted sleeping with somebody I shouldn’t have been sleeping with.
I was speechless and my mind was racing. What course of action would be best? All I could think to do was quickly unhook the mask, let it drop it into my seat and try to play it off the best that I could.
What was my motivation in that moment? Why was I so awkward?
Did Meghan notice? I don’t know, but I continued to babble. I realized even then that I should have addressed what was, to me, the elephant in the room.
Why didn’t I just say something…
Like, would Meghan really care that I wasn’t wearing a mask she made and opted for one of Karan’s that morning? Unlikely.
Would Brendan lose sleep over the fact that I made a mistake about a photo he made for me in fun? I wouldn’t think so.
Nothing in these events would indicate that my friendships with Meghan or Brendan would suffer – but in those moments, I feel like it’s curtains for me.
I asked my daughter to take a look at a draft of this post, and she said, “Wow. I really am your daughter.” She went on to tell me that she once texted an apology to a friend who didn’t even realize there was an issue.
My Larry David moments border on the pathological.
I’m 56, so I guess that depends. To a teenager, I’d be ancient.
I don’t feel much different than I ever have, and God knows I act like the perennial 12-year-old – albeit with the weight of decidedly adult stresses and the consequences of the decisions I have made over decades bearing down on me – contributing to what might be a low-level but persistent depression called dysthymia.
But is that it, really? Dysthymia is defined as a mild, chronic depression – less severe and with fewer symptoms than major depression. And it can continue for years.
If you know me, you’d hopefully see a positive and upbeat person. That’s true, too. We humans are complicated. Every new day brings a chance for new vistas of opportunity and renewed hope.
If I were to experience a sea change in my finances, I suspect I’d be even more upbeat. It’s not money that is the root of all evil, after all – just the love of money…
My mother’s first husband, I have been told, had something to say about this – a riff on the old quote about having been poor and having been rich, and rich was better: “I’d rather cry myself to sleep on a silk pillow,”
I always found that to be amusing.
But a good friend of mine told me that he went to a high school reunion, and many of his peers who had made the “right” decisions – perhaps pursuing “The American Dream” by finishing college, dutifully working a solid career path, marrying and raising a family, saving for retirement and buying a home – perhaps enjoying the finer things in life – looked old, played out and decidedly unhappy.
Of course, many others are completely happy and fulfilled.
Still others peaked in high school. You know the ones.
I have zig-zagged my way across the country, worked jobs that make no sense on a linear resume, and have lived in major cities and rural areas. I have been addicted to drugs and alcohol, and I need to get over my fear about giving voice to this, because there is a lot of ground to cover.
I was a single parent for many years and have been sober for nearly six years.
But for more than a decade, I have been fortunate enough to be engaged in the things I love, namely writing and music. Sure, the paychecks could be vastly improved – but I am happy to be writing, playing and singing.
Without a doubt, I am most grateful for the relationship I enjoy with my twins – a son and daughter, now 26. I don’t know if I could have gone on if not for the absolution they seem to have granted me. They love me and I them, forever and always.
So far, I have none of the aches and pains that many other men complain about after 30. I am as inflexible as I have always been, and I have been doing my part to make sure I exercise and stretch. I hope I have been given some sort of cosmic dispensation; that because I am attempting to take care of myself, the universe is responding in kind.
My reflection in the mirror – this 56-year-old man looking back at me – betrays a still-youthful twinkle in the eye, the corners of his mouth ready to curl upward into a smile – the laugh lines growing deeper with each passing day.
The last day of our New York trip in March began with a
couple of coffees from the Row NYC bar I
brought back up to our room – while getting plans together with my daughter,
When Tay arrived, we headed out toward Rockefeller Center. I had been
here on my last visit a couple of years ago, but it was fun to revisit with
Brenda – and watch the folks outside, still ice skating in March. We tried to
imagine what the Christmas tree might have looked like in its spot – up close
and personal. We also hung around The Shop at
NBC Studios, where those so inclined could grab a souvenir – perhaps a t-shirt
emblazoned with “SNL” or
a Rachel Maddow mug. How about a
book of “Seinfeld”
scripts from the first and second season, a deck of “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy
Fallon” playing cards or an NBC
Peacock hoodie? It’s all there, and much more.
But really, why cram a carry-on with such bric-a-brac? It’s
all online, of course. Just looking at that stuff in that venue was enough.
We wandered around inside the mall there for a bit and then
ventured outside again to watch the ice skaters while we finished some
top-notch banana pudding we picked up at a spot called Magnolia
Bakery. Unbelievably good.
We then set our sights on Bryant
Park, where we were going to meet Ivanna Fortunato, another friend of
Taylor’s who wasn’t at the office on the day we visited because of a knee
Content on the Bryant Park website says that the location is
“known as Manhattan’s Town Square…famous for its lush seasonal gardens, free
activities, world class restrooms, and al fresco dining.” Believe me – any
public restroom in the area is a godsend, and my visit for a tinkle was a
pleasant one. At my age, they should have one on every other block.
We grabbed some coffee at a kiosk and Taylor kept an eye out for Ivanna, who arrived on her lunch break from SpotCo. She was wearing a brace, and seemed to be handling her knee issue like a trouper. It was a delight to meet her, and I felt as if we already knew each other because Tay told me so much about her and we are Facebook friends. It’s refreshing to actually meet somebody outside of the virtual world.
Ivanna is getting married in the Dominican Republic in July, and I am happy to report that Taylor is going to be there. I wish Ivanna and her fiancé the very best.
To see Taylor and Ivanna is to assume that the two young ladies have been friends for a long time. The four of us hung out and chatted for a good while – and of course snapped photos and selfies. I am like the drunk uncle who has to document every moment. Every family has one. I hope somebody finds all of those digital memories after I am gone. Perhaps I should send thumb drives to a couple of key loved ones. Unfortunately, they will only contain the photos. No account numbers for offshore accounts.
After saying our goodbyes – I needed an updated photo
outside of the New York Public Library,
which was right next door. We also got hot dogs from a street vendor – and I
took a photo of the Empire State Building,
which was looming over a tree line nearby.
As we made our way back to Eighth Avenue, I was content that
we had done so much in a few short days without going nuts and without breaking
the bank. I recall looking into Sardi’s and taking
in some of the celebrity caricatures on those famous walls – and passing by the
We wanted to ship some clothes and other belongings back to
Myrtle Beach in an attempt to avoid luggage fees on Spirit Airlines – the reverse of what we did
on the way – but we had more shit to pack now. We passed The UPS Store and
bought a decent-sized box and took it back with us to the hotel.
But we still had big plans, specifically “Phantom
of the Opera” at the Majestic
Theatre – a show that Brenda had long fantasized about seeing in New York
someday. It is one of her all-time favorites, and we had tickets for that night
– box seats – thanks to my son’s fiancée, Leigh Schwartz, who had given them to
us as a Christmas gift.
HOLD FAST TO YOUR DREAMS
We packed up that box with everything we could – and Taylor
and I took it to a Staples location
nearby. The layout was nothing like any Staples I had seen – especially the
whole multiple floors thing. But a very nice young guy helped us and dispensed
sightseeing advice, albeit a bit too late – and it only cost me eighteen bucks
to ship the box. Things like that please me. It was like a little surprise.
We didn’t yet eat properly, but we had an agenda.
Much like when she was in college, Taylor found a home bar
where the folks were down to earth and she felt comfortable. In Charleston it was Smoke BBQ. In Hell’s Kitchen
it is Hold Fast, tucked into a
laid-back space with a brick and hardwood interior on 46th Street.
One of the owners, Jason, grew up in the Charlotte area. We talked
briefly, and I told him that my sister used to live in Cornelius until she moved around Lake Norman to Denver. Turns out he used to go to the
dentist in Cornelius. Small world indeed.
I had bone marrow and a soft scrambled egg with soy glaze, tobiko and toasted artisanal bread. Most excellent, and thankfully on the light side. I didn’t want to fall asleep at the theater.
I feel like Taylor made a good call when she chose Hold Fast as a hangout. Both Jason and co-owner Chris seemed to be really nice guys – and I love the name of their bar. Taylor told me that another co-owner named Shane is equally awesome. I wish them continued success with their enterprise.
THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT
We gave Taylor our hotel room key before leaving Hold Fast, just
in case she wanted to hang out there while we watched “Phantom.” She told us that
she would likely hang out at the bar. In any case, we wanted to see her again
to say our goodbyes because we were leaving in the morning.
The walk to the Majestic was short – basically just down the
block and over – and the line was already forming. We got behind a massive
school group, but we were inside the theater in no time. After stopping to grab
Brenda a t-shirt, we were ushered to our box seats at stage right.
I was hoping the box was just for the two of us, but there were
two other seats there. I vape, so I’m always looking for a strategic spot to sneak
in a rip – and I thought I was home free, but a young couple was seated beside
us just before curtain.
You can believe I thought about Abraham Lincoln many times. Sic semper tyrannis and all that rot.
Same seating situation. Poor bastard.
By now, we all know all about Phantom – but just because we were late to the party didn’t mean we didn’t enjoy it. Ben Crawford was terrific as The Phantom. I thought it was interesting that he shares the same last name with the original Phantom, Michael Crawford. They are not related. Kaley Ann Voorhees was excellent as Christine. One of the benefits of our seats was the fact that I could look directly down into the orchestra pit to see the musicians at work. I must admit that I was glancing down there quite a bit.
It was nice to see my girlfriend so happy. Glad she can cross
“Phantom” off her list at long last.
We strolled back to Hold Fast to grab Taylor, but hung out
for a little while longer. It was good to be with her – and she was in her
But it was getting late and Taylor had to catch a train to
Brooklyn. We all ducked back into the same pizza joint Brenda and I ate at a
couple of days before and enjoyed a slice
(there’s that expression again).
It takes me forever to say goodbye to my daughter – and no
matter how many hugs, there is always the chance for one more. This was true
when she was close at hand, so you can imagine how it is when she lives far
away. Finally, she disappeared down into the subway and we went across the
street to our hotel.
The next morning came quickly, and we took a cab to LaGuardia. No issues. No delays. No problem. We were back in Myrtle Beach like nothing had happened.
But it did happen.
And our UPS package was waiting at our front door when we got
The Sunday of our New York trip was a “free day,” a day to
knock around with no real agenda.
My daughter came up with a lunch plan, though – and it
involved Brenda and I taking the subway to Brooklyn this time. The idea was to
meet up at the DeKalb Market Hall
– a bustling spot boasting 27 thousand square feet and more than 40 diverse
food vendors, all under one roof. Our friend Rachel was coming along too.
Once again, we made it with no issues – and we were amazed. This was like a food truck festival sans trucks, offering culinary choices with names like Bunsmith, Forager’s Market, Hana Noodles, Paella Shack and so much more – the aromas and colorful signage and lighting from the little kitchens merging to create a mélange of sensory pleasures. The folks were friendly and ready to help or to explain the items on their varied menus. Some menus were pretty straightforward, though.
At that level of the mall, there was a Trader Joe’s. This is where Taylor
sometimes went shopping. I was happy to know this because now I had a visual
reference for when she calls me while out and about.
I opted for conventional pirogi. I am a sucker for those things, and I can’t say there are many eateries in Myrtle Beach that serve them. I shared with Taylor, who in return shared her excellent, hand-pulled ramen.
We all wound up at Target on the upper floor of
the shopping complex. Go figure.
We all hopped the “Q” [damn, what an urbanite expression] to
Park and then hoofed it to Rachel’s apartment nearby. It was nice of her to
invite us – and we had the chance to meet her roommate, filmmaker Bruce Wemple. I found out at
this moment that a couple of his shorts are on Amazon Prime. I will be
watching those soon.
Bruce also built a bar – and it was there in all its glory
in their living room. Impressive. I don’t drink anymore, but I kept eyeing his
bottle of Havana Club with
Rachel suggested we walk around Prospect Park and told us
that it was designed by the same pair that gave us Central Park, Frederick Law Olmstead and Calvert Vaux. For
whatever reason, we didn’t go. And we didn’t go to Central Park Either. Next
But we were on our way to Bed-Stuy
– walking along Flatbush Avenue with Taylor. It seems every neighborhood has
its own vibe. We ducked into a very nice independent shop called Greenlight Bookstore.
Well-stocked, well-lit and welcoming – it was one of two locations in Brooklyn.
It’s comforting to walk into a brick-and-mortar bookstore. Familiar. No matter
where you are.
Last visit, Taylor and I spent an hour or so checking out Strand Book Store. That place blew my
mind. Before that, the last one I visited was Blue Bicycle Books in Charleston when
Taylor was still in college.
Fun fact: My daughter told me recently that we got off the
train at the very station where Michael Jackson’s Martin Scorsese-directed
video for “Bad” was
The human memory is a damned unreliable source, and I’m
afraid too much time has gone by for me to remember whether or not we took the
train at all on the way back from Rachel’s – but my daughter confirmed that we
took the Franklin Avenue Shuttle to another train that took us to Bed-Stuy. At
any rate, we got to Taylor’s brownstone on Halsey Street, which was built in
1899. I was happy that Brenda had a chance to see it. As I mentioned in a
previous BLOG POST, Taylor’s roommates are also her friends – and one in
particular, Catherine, has been Taylor’s friend since middle school in Myrtle
We were all hungry – so after hanging out for a bit on
Halsey Street, we set out to dinner with two of her roommates, Kaja and Jacob.
After arriving too late at our first choice, Zaca
Café (American/French fusion), we wound up at a snug little Mexican eatery
called Tepache, also on Halsey Street.
Perfect. I ate a chimichanga the size of my head.
Taylor pointed us in the direction of the correct subway station with instructions, and we arrived back in Hell’s Kitchen in time to wander around the Theatre District. We felt emboldened in our new surroundings, and ended the evening by grabbing a couple of slices of cheesecake at Junior’s and bringing them back to our hotel, Row NYC. We will never be the same again.
We tried to pack as much as living as we could into our four days in New York City. Top of mind as we embarked on day two was the Elton John concert at Barclays Center later that night. Read all about that show HERE.
Before the trip, I happened to find a pair of low-top, old-school Adidas on the clearance rack at a shoe store and picked them up immediately. Divine providence, I figured, had sent me those shoes – just like the ones featured in the Run-D.M.C. video, “My Adidas.”
Now those fucking shoes were killing me, and I didn’t think
to bring another pair. The toe boxes were so narrow that my toenails were
digging into the sides of the adjacent toes. All I could do was stick Band-Aids
on some toes and keep stepping, as it were.
Some people gird their loins. I girded my toes, preparing
for the frenetic pace about to be set by the taskmaster, AKA my daughter.
We woke up a bit late, considering the fact that we were supposed to be exploring – and the first order of business was coffee. As I mentioned in the first installment, there was no coffee maker in our room. So we did what most Americans do in any city. We found a Starbucks down the street from our hotel. Really , we would have ducked into any coffee shop – but lo and behold, Starbucks was the first one we saw. Big surprise, right?
Don’t judge. It did the trick – fortifying us for our stroll to Macy’s, a place Brenda wanted to check out. Hell, we still watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade – and since I have heard the expression, “Kiss my ass in Macy’s window at high noon and tell me it smells like roses” so many times, I didn’t mind checking it out either. Incidentally, that quote is attributed to Lyndon Johnson.
I let my daughter know that we were headed in the direction of Macy’s, and she was heading in from Bed-Stuy to meet us.
It felt interesting to be planted in New York – following my GPS toward the iconic department store. I think we headed down 6th Avenue toward 34th Street. Pretty sure memory serves that I saw Radio City Music Hall down 6th in the other direction. Nonetheless, the walk was awesome. So much to take in. I now wish I took notes.
We made it to Macy’s, but Taylor hadn’t arrived yet – so I
went back outside to vape and wait for her while Brenda struck up a
conversation with a lady in fragrances.
Side note – that brings to mind Amazon’s “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” – when Mrs. Maisel, going through a divorce, had to work at a cosmetics counter at a huge department store in New York in the late 1950s. I highly recommend that show. Snappy dialogue (I actually appreciated the subtitles turned on in this case), fast-paced writing and a great ensemble.
I am sure somebody will take offense – but Macy’s was, well, a department store. Perhaps the multiple floors and the sheer amount of upscale branding coming at you was interesting. My favorite part about the visit was watching Brenda interact with the fragrance lady, who had been to Myrtle Beach on vacation. She planned on coming again. It’s funny, and as evidenced by Carolina Forest – so many New Yorkers want to make the Myrtle Beach area home. Brenda got herself a bottle of Versace Bright Crystal and we ducked out.
Somehow I am over department stores, as I believe most
Taylor, trouper that she is, got us to the Staten Island Ferry. We decided to take a ride back and forth and catch a glimpse of the harbor and the Statue of Liberty from that vantage point. We thought about going on the actual tour of both Liberty Island and Ellis Island, but we figured this Ferry would work for our purposes.
I must admit that I thought of my father arriving by ocean
liner from London when he moved here in 1956. He was, like I am, prone to a
good cry – and he told me he sobbed when he first caught sight of Lady Liberty.
He loved America and everything he thought it stood for. Always called
presidents Mister – like Mr. Nixon or Mr. Reagan. Such a wonderful guy. There
was nobody else like him.
There were so many people gathering to take the ferry across
that I got worried that we would have to push for seats. This shows how little
I knew about the sheer size of those vessels. Unbelievable. Room to spare – and
I spend a lot of time walking around onboard as well.
When we got to Staten Island, I was kind of pissed that we had to get off. We wanted to go right back across. But we hung out for about 30 minutes inside the terminal. I bought Taylor a beer and went outside to vape, of course. When I was out there, I saw some dude get out of an Uber and drop a shopping bag. He was grateful when I told him about it.
I thought to myself, where were all of the rude people?
Time seemed to compress. I think it was because we were getting excited about Elton. By the time we made it back to Midtown, it was time to grab a quick bite and change. We decided to pop into Shake Shack in the Theater District and take some burgers and fried up to our room – with Taylor, of course.
We took a train together to the Barclays Center stop, and I
was amazed about how convenient that trip was. Tay ran off to have a drink with
her friend Rachel Feldman, who lived nearby and was at a local watering hole.
We hung around outside Barclays for a time, marveling at the huge digital sign
at the arena touting the sold out show. The crowds were arriving from
An employee directed a bunch of folks toward other entrances – and Brenda and I noticed an entrance for American Express Cardmembers. What the heck, I only have a Green Card, but that was enough – and we slipped into the arena. I guess we all didn’t have to be Tina Fey to enjoy a bit of a perk.
I bought myself a tour shirt and one for Taylor at 40 bucks a pop. At the end of the day, that didn’t seem nearly as outrageous as I anticipated. We found our seats, and Taylor met up with us in perfect time to make the beginning of the show. She was wearing an awesome red sequined blouse. Reg Dwight would approve.
For the next three hours, forget it. I cried from the downbeat, Hell, I cried when the place went black – that all-too-familiar anticipation. Hooted. Hollered. Cried again. Tried my best to be in the moment. This was the last time I would see Elton John play live. Read about it and see video HERE.
What a night!
Since Taylor lives in Brooklyn, there was no reason for her
to have to escort us back to Midtown. We said goodnight at the subway station,
and Tay went to the other side to wait for her train.
Brenda and I made it back with no problems. When we emerged from the subway, I swore I heard somebody calling me. Sure enough, it was Clyde Moser, who had come with us to Marie’s Crisis the night before. He and a friend had just gotten out of a show. In a city with more than eight million people, moments like this are priceless.
After a quick selfie, Brenda and I went to a corner pizza place and had a slice. We never say “slice” in Myrtle Beach.
We unwound in our room at Row NYC, “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” still ringing in our ears.
My daughter took me to see Present Laughter at the St. James Theatre in New York over Memorial Day weekend.
As some of you know, I was captivated by Coward when I was a young man – read everything there was to read by him and about him. I had plays, records, diaries, biographies, memoirs. You name it.
Coward even inspired me to smoke cigarettes. That was a bad idea. I switched to vape three years ago.
Through July 2, Kline stars in the lead role of Garry Essendine, one that Coward – AKA “The Master” – brought to life in all his self-absorbed glory in 1942.
But I am getting ahead of myself.
I spent an amazing long weekend in New York City with my equally amazing daughter, Taylor. What started out as a casual comment from Taylor – the fact that she had three days off and it would be great if I could finally come to see her – turned into an impromptu trip that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
I’m 53, and this was the first time I had ever been there.
There isn’t a good reason why I’d never been. I had entertained romantic thoughts of driving across the country when I was 18, taking jobs along the way and ultimately winding up in the Big Apple. Who didn’t at that age. But I know myself then as I know myself now – not much, mind you – but that trip wasn’t about to happen.
The ensuing decades enabled me to build up a solid repertoire of misconceptions about New York and New Yorkers. You know the stereotypes – like, watch it or you will surely get mugged in Times Square (holdover from the seedy 1970s) – or that New Yorkers are rude, impatient and always in a hurry. I know so many New Yorkers who are not those things at all. Why would it be different on their turf?
Billy Joel bragging about walking through Bedford-Stuyvesant alone in “You May Be Right” kind of worried me because that’s exactly where my daughter lives, although she doesn’t have a motorcycle and probably wouldn’t ride it in the rain if she did.
My imagination couldn’t quite make out what “The City” would really be like – the sights and sounds glamorized in movies and television – and the music – the litany of bright lights, big city stuff – the hustle and bustle – the “if-I-can-make-it-there-I’ll-make-it-anywhere,” mantra.
And how was everything connected – the boroughs, the layout? The reality had to be different from my imagined version.
The thought of setting foot where the unspeakable tragedy of 911 happened was also a bit surreal, chilling, and profoundly sad.
And, finally, I was about to take it all in.
From the moment I got off the plane at JFK, I could feel the energy.
Over the next three days, Taylor and I relied on the trains and walked our asses of – and I am surprised at the sheer amount of ground we covered. Taylor gave me truly immersive experience, and with the exception of an excellent leisurely breakfast at place where she used to work, an outstanding French-American restaurant and café in Brooklyn called French Louie (where she reconnected with her friends and coworkers and I could feel the love), we relied on lighter, faster fare in the form of tuna melts from a bodega on her block in Bed-Stuy, a couple of slices of pizza on her block, bagels and an interesting culinary oddity from a place called Sushirrito – and more.
Friend at French Louie
Friend at French Louie
I am still a bit overwhelmed by the trip – and I wanted to get something down in this blog to get started, but I think this deserves multiple posts.
I think it’s fair to say that I will never be quite the same after this trip – and now, in the limited time I was there – I have been there, done that.
But I am struck with how well my daughter is doing up there, putting that College of Charleston communication degree to work, currently at an awesome advertising agency called SpotCo – specializing in theatre, and more specifically the branding of many leading productions.
Taylor has really gotten to know the lay of the land, has awesome roommates, and doesn’t appear to take any shit from anyone.
Thanks for the advice, kid – but I can’t help saying hello to strangers.
I will always remember our long weekend in “The City,” but spending time with Taylor was priceless!
Almost a month ago, my daughter took off to New York City.
Taylor had only been back in Myrtle Beach for a month when the opportunity presented itself, and it’s like the universe conspired to make the trip possible: A friend of one of her lifelong friends was heading up there and had room in her vehicle – but the friend making the trip was leaving from Winston-Salem, NC.
And that lifelong friend had a place for Taylor to stay when she got there.
It just so happened that my niece – Taylor’s cousin – was in town for Labor Day and was heading back to her home in High Point on that Sunday.
High Point is 20 miles away from Winston-Salem.
See where I am going with this?
By a wonderful, serendipitous miracle of logistics and goodwill – my daughter is where the action is.
She already told me she wasn’t coming back. I hope she’s kidding – but I am also confident that she will carve out a niche for herself up there and will be able to put that College of Charleston communication degree to good use.
If she can make it there, she’ll make it anywhere…
My daughter isn’t one to let the grass grow under foot. Within about a week she snagged a hostessing job at a French-American restaurant and cafe in Brooklyn called French Louie. No doubt having worked at excellent places in Charleston such as Slightly North of Broad (S.N.O.B.) and more recently Amen Street Fish & Raw Bar, coupled with her familiarity with OpenTable were big pluses.
They told her that they were after hospitality at French Louie. My kid lived in the epicenter of Southern hospitality for four years.
This week she was interviewed by a College of Charleston graduate at a PR firm on Madison Avenue. There is a CofC alumni group in Manhattan – and another friend made her aware of this.
Frankly – Taylor has a group of friends in The City that parallels her Charleston experience. Not to mention that lifelong friend since middle school in Myrtle Beach, who has already been working steadily in the entertainment industry up there.
If not now, when…
Taylor was about to wait until she saved up a bit from working here in Myrtle before heading up North to poke around – but I suppose fate intervened when the universe conspired.
The last thing I would want for her would be to “settle” for a temporary job here and then, ten years on, wonder what the hell happened.